Separation Agreement

Separation Agreement, whether you separate to get time apart, work out problems, get counseling or pre-divorce; a separation agreement helps you and your spouse maintain a consistency on responsibilities, create a stable environment for children and gives reassurance.

Separation agreements can be narrow or broad based upon what works best with the couple. Think about what’s important to you:

• Bills that need paid (electric, home, cars, etc.)
• Insurance maintained
• Upkeep, mowing, maintenance on a house
• Get children to school and events
• Teaching children (homeschool or generally)
• Maintaining structure with children
• Communication and important meetings
• Counseling or ministry support
• Finances or household money
• Dating or extra marital affairs
• Pets and Livestock
• Any other important concerns

What Happens

When a couple separates there becomes a sudden disconnect which leaves a lot of unanswered questions. The couple can stay in control and avoid further problems between each other while giving each other space. Knowing how bills will be paid, children will be cared for, food will be purchased and both parents having time with the children; can make things run more smoothly.

Think about how you will pay your regular bills, buy food, and not fall into default or get repossessed. These are critical problems that can be avoided with a separation agreement.

During the summer months, yards must be mowed, trees trimmed, house maintained and other summerly duties. During the winter months, you may be required or need to remove snow from walk-ways, rake leaves or clean gutters. Not to mention winterize vacation/rent houses, RVs, boats or other equipment or prepare livestock and pets. Who will handle this?

How it Works

The couple sets down with a list of requests on both sides. We look at each request and how it is best to resolve it. This does not mean you must agree with your spouse on every item but work on what is best to benefit the situation and where you desire to go. If you’re headed for a divorce, you may wish to outline a pre-divorce temporary agreement (similar to a temporary order). If you’re trying to reconcile or decide, you may want to set ground rules on extra marital affairs and keep a consistent routine with children.

During a separation; banks, mortgage companies and creditors don’t care why you can’t or didn’t pay. If they feel concerned, they will start repossession or law suits quickly. This adds further frustration that push you further apart from working out a reconciliation, deciding what to do or divorce.

Who uses Separation Agreements

The military uses separation agreements (a very similar version) before deployment. This way the family left behind knows what to expect in finances, if you need help with children, someone becomes very ill, injured or dies and who can take custody of children in an emergency. Also, ministries and corporations who send people overseas, government agencies who have long travel duration, churches who send missionaries, and the courts.

But We’re not Married

Just because you’re not married is not a reason to avoid a separation agreement. If you are trying to reconcile or have children and you need time apart, you can use a separation agreement to again maintain that consistency for children, bills, maintenance items and other necessities.

A Courts Temporary Order

Courts can set a temporary order once a divorce is filed to give the couple (usually the Plaintiff) money or assign a specific party to pay certain bills. These orders are usually based upon the courts findings of what that person needs to remain consistently unchanged financially until the divorce can be mediated or heard in court.

With an average litigated divorce taking six to eighteen months (6-18) to be finalized, this can leave one person paying most or all the bills while additionally finding a new place to live, paying deposits, and setup/run a separate entire household. When children are involved the court will further order child support which is usually at the maximum due to proof of income has not been established. This is of an enormous burden and many times can drain all your finances.

One thing most people say about court mandated temporary orders; “their extremely high and unfair”. Whether this is true or overexaggerated is based on your viewpoint. If the couple works out a separation agreement, the court will usually accept that as the temporary order, allowing the couple to remain in control while resolving their divorce.