Divorce mediation is where a 3rd party neutral, called a mediator, facilitates between the divorcing couple to resolve the necessary conditions the couple needs to finalize the divorce. This allows the couple to remain in control of their life decisions without the need of a judge to forcibly order their life decisions.
What can We Decide using a Divorce Mediator?
All divorces must be signed off by a judge to be legal. By using a mediator, the judge is not having to display your entire life in front of strangers and publicly post everything on the internet. Your discussions, negotiations and personal information are private and confidential. A quality credentialed mediator can help you explore options and decisions on everything you need, or the judge would require to be settled.
- Division of assets
- everything from houses to furniture
- Division of Debt
- everything from mortgages to credit cards
- Separation of bank and retirement accounts
- bank, 401k, IRA, etc.
- Spousal Support
And anything else either one wants or needs Including:
- Division of a business or valuations
- Payouts or Buyouts
- Private School, Homeschool or College Funds
- Heritage or Legacy Teaching
- Special Needs for Children, etc.
- If you have minor children
- Child Custody
- Child Support
- Co-Parenting
- Visitation
- Child Tax Credits
And anything else either one wants or needs Including:
- Division of a business or valuations
- Payouts or Buyouts
- Private School, Homeschool or College Funds
- Heritage or Legacy Teaching
- Special Needs for Children, etc.
When did Divorce Mediation Start?
Oklahoma enacted the Dispute Resolution Act, (12 OS 1801-1840), back in 1983; as an alternative to court fighting which would be Fair, Equitable, Inexpensive and Expeditious. This was also intended to reduce the burden on the over crowded court system, to save the taxpayers money from expanding buildings, hiring more judges, lower Sheriff’s duties, decrease DHS involvement, and many more State benefits. Most importantly, allow you to remain in control of your life long decisions.
What is the Difference?
Besides the cost and shorter timeline, mediation is much less stressful than court. Divorce Mediation is handled virtually (online) or in a comfortable conference room with refreshments. With our block scheduling, you are not rushed or pushed to make decisions without consideration.
Mediation
Cost:
- $500 – $1,500 or less
Timeline:
- 2 weeks to 3 months
Court Litigation
Cost:
- $2,500 to $20,000 or more.
- $20,000 – is the reported average of a litigated divorce in Oklahoma and $150,000 in California.
Timeline:
- 6 months to 3 Years
- The average timeline in Oklahoma is 18 months and in California it can rocket to 6 Years.
Can I Have an Attorney
Yes, you may have an attorney to assist you and so may your spouse.
Mediators are neutral and do not represent either one of you. As a neutral, mediators cannot give legal advice (even if they are an attorney), represent you in court or make decisions for you. You make your own decisions while the mediator walks you through your process.
An attorney is there to represent your rights and interests or representation you in front of a judge, but they cannot represent both of you as you’re on opposite sides of the fight. This is a conflict of interest and a breach of legal ethics.
Is Divorce Mediation Legally Binding
Yes, once the mediation is concluded; the mediator will write the agreement then have a notary come in to notarize everything. We will be provide you an Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) which is a legal binding agreement to be written up and put into the court form requirements. PhloxADR cannot provide court paperwork, except for cases in Oklahoma and as we are not your attorney; we do not guarantee the paperwork.
You will write up and submit the court paperwork yourself or retain the assistance of a paralegal or attorney to write up the paperwork. As mediators are neutral, they cannot ethically submit paperwork nor represent you in court, even if they hold a law degree.
You can obtain your own paperwork from many sources whether it be copies from an attorney, internet form or paralegal copy from a law library. Then you can edit your paperwork to input your information to submit to the court yourself.
What if We Cannot Decide Everything
That’s the GREAT thing about mediation, it’s not a “Take It or Leave It” meeting. Sometimes an offer is a good deal or bad deal but you’re unsure. We can agree to postpone for you to think it over, get legal advice, consult an appraiser, hire an accountant, or whatever you need to proceed. Always remember time is of the essence (of great importance) so you want to move as-fast-as possible. Then:
- We can hold another mediation -or-
- We can make a partial agreement -and you can-
Have the judge decide the remaining requirements. Apply to an arbitrator who will make a final decision of the remaining requirements.
What if There are Specific Questions like Child Support
As a neutral, ethically, mediators cannot answer legal questions, even if they are an attorney. We do provide a Divorce Resources where you can find information to help you make your own decisions or you can contact an attorney.
During the mediation, you may take a break to call your legal counsel or get advise. We will find you a private place or you can step outside to call. In a Virtual Divorce Mediation, our software allows us to move you to a private area to call, video chat or discuss privately with your legal counsel while online.
We have been requested to add this by attorneys: Please inform your attorney ahead of time, so, they may be expecting your call. This saves you and them time and frustration.
Private & Confidential
Keeping your discussions, information and personal life private is primary in Mediation. Everything you submit to court is public knowledge and easily searchable on the internet. Courts pay companies to make your information public and sell your information to whomever.
Nothing in mediation is public information or allowed to be used as evidence per the US Supreme Court’s ruling. There is no audio or video recordings and all notes will be collected and destroyed. Only the final memorialized agreement exists after mediation and serves as the formal documentation.
We are Available to Help You
We are here via phone, email, text or Facebook Messenger for any questions. Give us a call 405-765-8030 or send us a message and we will be glad to assist you.
