Things Nobody Told you About Divorce

In today’s world, divorce seems more common than ever. When about half of all couples split up eventually, it is a sign that society is changing. Still, it doesn’t make it any easier on couples and children of divorce. According to Rowdy G. Williams, “no one ever enters a marriage with the expectation that it will end one day. The sad truth is that, sometimes, things don’t work out.”

Divorce is one of the most challenging things anyone will go through in their life. Here is why:

Money

Divorce is expensive. The state does not allow you to get divorced without spending money. Furthermore, if you are the breadwinner, expect to pay your spouse 50% of all of your earnings and savings. Your net worth will be cut in half overnight.

Furthermore, there are other costs to consider. Aside from losing half of your assets and lawyer fees, you could also have to pay alimony and child support. Many times, this means you are paying your spouse for a lifestyle they didn’t earn for years after you are divorced. While they are driving a new car with your money, you are forced to continue to pay for them, sometimes for life.

However, according to mediate.com, “65 percent of divorced mothers receive no child support.” That is not good. It hurts the children who are most affected by the parents divorcing.

Parenting Differences

Divorce is harmful in so many ways. Despite women having an easier time adjusting to the situation, there is a more significant stigma placed upon them whereas men might attract support and compassion. Men, on the other hand, tend to experience more adjustment problems related to the loss of intimacy, loss of social connections, and the interruption of the parent role, according to mediate.com.

Children

Divorce hurts. And not just for the parents. Children of divorce can become very confused and sad when their parents split up. Often, children think it is their fault. If you are a child, you need to understand that your parents’ divorce had nothing to do with you. Parents with children involved in their divorce need to keep them out of the arguments that the adults may have.

Many times, parents will try to use their children to get to the other parent. This never works. Instead, it creates a more significant divide within the family unit. Soon, children may become depressed, suicidal, and distant from their loved ones. This can also lead to mental problems later on in life.

According to mediate.com, “children’s psychological reactions to their parents’ divorce vary in degree dependent on three factors: 1. the quality of their relationship with each of their parents before the separation, 2. the intensity and duration of the parental conflict, and 3. the parents’ ability to focus on the needs of the children in their divorce.”

Another issue that children face is which parent to listen to. It could be a struggle the child goes through for a long time. Sometimes, parents may force the child to choose which parent to live with. The parents may put pressure on the child to tell them what is going on with the other parent, what they are doing, who they see and such.

If a child was involved in sports or piano, they might have to stop due to a drop in the income of the divorced parents. Halting these activities could lead to loneliness, loss of interaction and growth opportunities.

As a divorced parent, be sure to work together for the common good of the child. You want your child to have a balanced life filled with contentment, growth, and happiness. It is crucial to work together despite not being married to one another anymore.

Lawyers

Lawyers are expensive. But it is not just the cost that makes dealing with lawyers so tricky. The opposing lawyer in your divorce case is paid to make your life difficult. They must paint you as the villain no matter what happens. This is something that few people can deal with when the court is going through their life and documentation and bringing it to light.

When it comes to divorce, it is something that no one wishes for. Still, much of the population will have to deal with it or knows someone who will in their lifetime. It is essential to know what to expect with divorce and understand there are options. It is never too late to turn things around.

Dispute Resolution 

Dispute resolution has become the go to in divorce case throughout the country. Mainly due its ability to bring the parties together in agreement without all the fighting, arguing, money, time and stress. 

Divorce Mediation

Mediation in a divorce case will cost 70% less than a litigated divorce. There is 80% less stress on the parties and the children have much fewer issues at home and school. With most divorce cases taking several months to years to be finalized, mediation can have the divorce resolved within weeks. Normally, the biggest delay in a mediated divorce is waiting to see the  judge to have the decree signed. There are important considerations when hiring a divorce mediator but they must be someone both parties can agree to handle the case. Tips from others are a great way to find a quality divorce mediator.

Divorce Arbitration 

Arbitration in a divorce case will cost more than mediation but is still significantly less than litigation while retaining the faster and less stress benefits over litigation. Arbitration is normally used in divorce when there is a high value of money or assets, business affairs, privacy concerns or other factors the require a third party to make a final decision but avoiding the court battle is desired.