Marriage is a partnership between two people who will do everything in their power to support one another. It’s only natural that in marriages, problems will arise. The key to a successful marriage is spotting those problems early on and working through them together. If you are in tune with your partner’s wants and needs, then you’ll be able to tell when they’re not happy. When someone in a marriage isn’t happy, it can send the whole establishment crumbling down around them. That’s why it’s essential to spot trouble in a marriage before it comes too big of a problem to deal with.
Always Keep Communication Lines Open
The first and most important way to spot trouble in a marriage is by having an open and honest conversation. Talk with your partner about anything and everything that’s been bothering them. Encourage them to say what’s on their mind no matter how trivial it is. By listening to one another’s problems and addressing the situation, things can typically be smoothed over before they become problems that are blown out of proportion. To do this, choose a quiet time during the day where you both can sit down face-to-face and talk freely and openly with no time constraints. If you’d like to keep on top of things, pencil in a time at least monthly to have a heartfelt discussion.
Notice Unusual, Problematic Behavior Immediately
Another way to spot trouble is by looking for behavior that is out of the ordinary. When a couple marries, the two partners pledge to join together in a lifelong union. In addition to that union, comes baggage, literally and figuratively. A clear warning sign is being unable to let go of their things they may or may not need. The stress of combining households can reveal much about a person. Those in a marriage tend to know their partner better than anyone else. Therefore, they can spot behavior that is out of ordinary. This includes behavior like lying, being manipulative, sneaking around, sudden bursts of anger, sudden health changes or substance use/abuse. Experts agree, “if you notice stark appearance and lifestyle changes in your loved one, it may be time confront the issue.” Often, there are underlying factors that contribute to this. Sometimes a sudden change in behavior can be one of the signs of drug or alcohol addiction. If your spouse is struggling with addiction, it’s time to let them know that you will be with them every step of the way as they recover. By conquering the problem of addiction early on, a marriage can potentially be saved.
Couples could also be dealing with stress, worry or fears which need to be spoken and handled. Many marriages start falling apart because of these stressors which eat away within the subconscious like a cancer. Problems at work, with children, money and even sex are issues that are hard for some people to discuss with their spouse as they may see it as a their failure. Being reassuring, handling the issue not just push it away, finding solutions to fears and making adjustments to help your partner deal with the stressor. Many benefit by seeking pastoral care or therapy (personal or family) may help but most of all seek a resolution to the problem.
Conclusion: Seek Help When it all Becomes Too Much
Sometimes, outside help is needed. If a couple can spot problem areas in their marriage, they can seek help before it becomes too late. Sometimes this help comes in the form of counselors, centers, hospitals, or even family members. Depending on what issues a marriage has, sometimes they can be easily worked out if they’re acknowledged early on. Outside help is essential when a couple finds themselves face-to-face with problems that are bigger than they are, because divorce and the necessity of other services might be on the horizon.
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