Choosing your divorce mediator is the first step in resolving your divorce. Courts in Oklahoma are following most other states of insisting that families seek the assistance of a divorce mediator before appearing before the judge. This allows the couple to discuss all personal and sensitive matters in private while exploring options the court just does not have time to hear.
There are many factors when choosing your divorce mediator to make your selection the very best. Whether you’re selecting a private mediator, like Dr. Justin Wood, pulling from a pool of qualified candidates, available through GPMAA or TMCA, or allowing a state program to assign you a random volunteer mediator, OESP, through their program; here are things you need to consider.
Trust and Rapport and Practice
You need to be able to trust your divorce mediator and be comfortable with speaking open and honestly with them. You also want to know they have proper training with yearly refreshers and top shelf ethics to keep your information private and confidential.
This makes a random stranger assigned to you unnerving as you know nothing about them, their training and you have never spoken to them prior to the meeting. If your or your spouse clash with the mediator; well, there is not much you can do about it.
Most quality mediators will give you a free consultation and answer questions from both you and your spouse (whether individually or together). This gives you a feel of their compassion, ethics and process.
Finally, do they practice out of a single office, do they have other conference locations or they offer online options? You need to know what works best for you. Why drive across town when you can attend closer to home/office or even over your computer.
Practice Area with Specialty in Divorce
People have a lot of interests but your divorce and family matters are not for the sous chef which does all the auxiliary work the head chef leaves. You want the head chef, the ship’s captain, the commander….. You get the point. You want the one who is trained, skilled and experienced in resolving divorce matter everyday to give you their very best.
Ask for their credentials, training certifications, yearly CLE compliance, professional memberships, and how long they have handed cases.
Education in Dispute Resolution
There are many levels to mediation credentialing but in general they start with a 40-hour course in mediation, an additional 20 – 30 hours in family mediation then every year in individual is required, some by law or by third party credentialing organizations, to submit to a certain amount of training called “CEs” (Certified Education) which can also be called CLE or CME which are backed by a credentialing organization or a bar organization.
Further, ask if they have a degree. Mediators come from many walks of life which makes for great assistance to you. Also, do they practice mediation full time or part time, as this can tell you how much experience they truly have and how well they can accommodate your schedule.
Professional Organizations
Seek out mediators who are members of third party credentialing organizations or bar associations for family mediation only, as these have a group of peers that they must adhere to standards. These standards and peer organizations make the divorce mediator more rounded and experienced with cases that have become extremely difficult. Simply being exposed to more challenging cases allows for the mediator to see how other professionals handle difficult situations. This means: they know how to help you through the most difficult problem.
Cost, Fees and Billing
How much does this mediator charge and what do they charge for? Mediators normally charge by a flat fee or by the hour, as any contingency or outcome based payment is a violation of ethical standards.
Flat fees are based on a certain amount of hours with or without the written agreement. This is important. 3 hours of mediation for $400 sounds good but if the written agreement will be an extra $200, that is now $600.
Hourly fees are just that, every hour you’re charged a fee; so time becomes your focal point. If the mediator needs to caucus privately with you, anxiety starts to set in as you watch the clock tick away on your money.
